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#101 2020-05-14 20:07:44

Misiulo
Member
Male (28), Poland
Registered: 2009-05-12
Last visit: 2020-07-05
Posts: 160
Website

Re: Spurs and Crops

Ehm Guys smile Audrey is a female riding Mistress from USA, and the last thing i know She was pretty satisfied with the contents of Her stable ad not looking for new rides unfortunately.

When addressing an accomplished user like Her, especially a Lady it is wise to use search options first. Where are you from?! You're a fake, cos you didn't answer me! That's probably not the best way to start an acqueintance. And if anything it is likely to make Her even less open and willing to share.

IMHO, We should be welcoming to anybody willing to actively share real life experiences and knowledge with us.

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#102 2020-05-15 02:39:18

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-06-20
Posts: 261

Re: Spurs and Crops

@audreyb, not at all actually. I've experienced first hand (from the male and female perspective) how difficult it is to maintain friendships with the opposite sex, without one or the other person wanting something more. Your friendship makes sense for the reason you stated.

Would you describe yourself as dominant?

Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

I understand that your carriers prefer not to  carry women and though my association with my friend and others, I have encountered many  gay men who are quite masochistic and also attracted to dominant straight men.

It may seem odd  that a woman would have a gay man as a close friend but it's been a  very good relationship for  me  and I assume  for him as well.
No  jealousies ,competitions or sexual tensions .

I have a few  straight  men  who willingly serve  me  very much like your gay  men serve you. However I  don't have any gay women in that  capacity  simply because I find lesbian relationships become complicated far to often.

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#103 2020-05-15 02:45:41

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-06-20
Posts: 261

Re: Spurs and Crops

@esel,

I was curious to know a bit about your attitude towards carrying. Your post on another thread caught my eye:

"A donkey doesn't choose his rider, nor his/her riding manners ... Likewise a slave doesn't choose his owner, nor his/her whims and wishes ..."

I was curious to know how you came to feel this way. Also, I'm sorry this is a personal question, and I completely understand if you don't wish to answer, but do you identify as gay or straight?

I ask b/c I have a straight man who serves as my pony, but he is first and foremost a submissive, and he believes it is his purpose to serve those above him. Was curious if your thoughts were similar.

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#104 2020-05-15 04:04:49

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-07-06
Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

krisbean:

I'm  glad you understand about my friend and me.  Many  people seem  to find our relationship odd  but we were attracted to each other on the first day  we  met.
The attraction was on a nonsexual level, rather  more personality to personality and kindred spirits.

Yes I have always been  dominant in all of my relationship  from my earliest  memories.
I rarely maintain any relationship where there is a conflict in this.
I have of course dated men who wanted to be "in charge"  but  rarely more than once.
It's not that I dislike  masculine men, but rather  that we  tend to clash early and  waste each other's time. There have been a few exceptions  that became a struggle of wills  but lately I  prefer men who simply submit or are submissive by nature. Most of them are quite satisfied with this arrangement.

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#105 2020-05-17 02:36:46

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-06-20
Posts: 261

Re: Spurs and Crops

@audreyb

that's interesting about your dominance. I've always been curious about how dominance and submissiveness form in a person. My theory is that whatever gives rise to submissiveness is also what gives rise to dominance.

I understand what you mean about the struggle of wills. My relationships that were with women that were 'low interference/input' were the more  successful ones.

Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

I'm  glad you understand about my friend and me.  Many  people seem  to find our relationship odd  but we were attracted to each other on the first day  we  met.
The attraction was on a nonsexual level, rather  more personality to personality and kindred spirits.

Yes I have always been  dominant in all of my relationship  from my earliest  memories.
I rarely maintain any relationship where there is a conflict in this.
I have of course dated men who wanted to be "in charge"  but  rarely more than once.
It's not that I dislike  masculine men, but rather  that we  tend to clash early and  waste each other's time. There have been a few exceptions  that became a struggle of wills  but lately I  prefer men who simply submit or are submissive by nature. Most of them are quite satisfied with this arrangement.

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#106 2020-05-19 14:27:30

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-07-06
Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

krisbean:

There is often  the question of nature  vs  nurture and I have questioned this in myself  and  basically concluded that in my case it's probably both.

My mother was very much the dominant one in my family and my father  seemed to prefer the arrangement and my  younger brother  was more or less trained to accept  it.
In  retrospect,  I  even  dominated  my  father  though at the time I  didn't fully understand the concept. I was  his "little princess" and he  just   did  what I wanted.
I simply accepted that men  did what women told them to.

Obviously this view didn't last when I  went to school  and discovered  that  boys would fight back  and being one of the smaller girls  , physically dominating  boys as I did my  younger  brother wasn't  an option. 

I did  find some boys  who would submit to my will  but also  developed an attraction to  boys who bullied other boys.  To this day I have  never been able to really  rationalize  these conflicting feelings. I simply accept and enjoy them.

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#107 2020-05-20 18:49:51

Alex
Member
Male, Germany
Registered: 2017-04-18
Last visit: 2020-07-05
Posts: 33

Re: Spurs and Crops

@AudreyB:

This is an interesting aspect and this is also part of childhood memories I have. My mom always seemed to be the dominating one and I guess that circumstance is also what has influenced me a lot.

Being submissive is just something which feels right for me although I can't really explain in a rational way. I choose to enjoy those feelings in similar way you do. It shouldn't be any different if you ask me but sometimes I notice this sort of nature vs. nurture conflict in other women and for them this seems to be a real tough call. On one hand there are those feelings they obviously enjoy, e.g. riding/sitting on top of a man, being in control etc. and then on the other hand there is this maybe educational or society driven expectation of how they think they should behave instead which is a conflict and this is ruining all the fun for themselves. Anyways those are just my observations..

Did any of those boys back in school appear less interesting to you *after* they have submitted to your will?

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#108 2020-05-21 04:35:49

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-06-20
Posts: 261

Re: Spurs and Crops

@audreyb

that's an interesting observation. There is (at least for me) a sexual component to being dominant. Do you think nurture could contribute to that as well? I can see how that could be the case, since as sexual feelings emerge for the opposite sex, those get layered with the nature element of one's environment.

Also very interesting to learn about your attraction to boys who bullied other boys. One theory could be that you have a sexual preference for dominant men (possibly because you consider them equal), or because your attraction to men and attraction to domination were combined.

I personally enjoy watching women ride and dominate men, but I don't want to be dominated by women, and instead prefer to dominate other men. It's an interesting realization, and one that I can't fully explain. Like you, I have come to accept and enjoy, but it would still be nice to think of why I am that way.

One would think that there would be some analysis of why submissive and dominant tendencies develop. 

Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

There is often  the question of nature  vs  nurture and I have questioned this in myself  and  basically concluded that in my case it's probably both.

My mother was very much the dominant one in my family and my father  seemed to prefer the arrangement and my  younger brother  was more or less trained to accept  it.
In  retrospect,  I  even  dominated  my  father  though at the time I  didn't fully understand the concept. I was  his "little princess" and he  just   did  what I wanted.
I simply accepted that men  did what women told them to.

Obviously this view didn't last when I  went to school  and discovered  that  boys would fight back  and being one of the smaller girls  , physically dominating  boys as I did my  younger  brother wasn't  an option. 

I did  find some boys  who would submit to my will  but also  developed an attraction to  boys who bullied other boys.  To this day I have  never been able to really  rationalize  these conflicting feelings. I simply accept and enjoy them.

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#109 2020-05-21 04:42:26

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-06-20
Posts: 261

Re: Spurs and Crops

@alex,

It's very interesting to hear about your explanation for your submissiveness. I am curious to know if your desire to be submissive is expressed only for women, or for both genders. I've heard from other submissives that they have a strong desire to submit, regardless of the gender of the person they are submitting to, but I wonder if that's because it's not easy to meet with women that are dominant.


Alex wrote:

@AudreyB:

This is an interesting aspect and this is also part of childhood memories I have. My mom always seemed to be the dominating one and I guess that circumstance is also what has influenced me a lot.

Being submissive is just something which feels right for me although I can't really explain in a rational way. I choose to enjoy those feelings in similar way you do. It shouldn't be any different if you ask me but sometimes I notice this sort of nature vs. nurture conflict in other women and for them this seems to be a real tough call. On one hand there are those feelings they obviously enjoy, e.g. riding/sitting on top of a man, being in control etc. and then on the other hand there is this maybe educational or society driven expectation of how they think they should behave instead which is a conflict and this is ruining all the fun for themselves. Anyways those are just my observations..

Did any of those boys back in school appear less interesting to you *after* they have submitted to your will?

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#110 2020-05-21 19:42:48

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-07-06
Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

krisbean:

I  believe you're right concerning my attraction to  dominant  men, especially  men who  dominate other men  is because I view them as  equals.  I know that my initial  attraction to my  gay  friend was that  the first time I saw  him he was engaged in a mild form of  domination.  His attitude at the time interested me  and amused  me  before we were even introduced  and  he was already informed of my  nature having been  invited by another  guest. It was a  Halloween party at my home while I was still married.

I find myself most attracted to  men who dominate  with their personality  rather than just  the classic  "tough guy" type. That's  why I was interested in what you said concerning your riding activities  and  your  attitude  that  is so similar to my  friend.

But  despite my attraction to dominant  men, I always feel the need to  control in  all of my relationships  and  that of course results in  the conflicts I mentioned. 
Since I'm a small business owner, I usually have to limit  my  intimate activities to men  who are  submissive by  nature . Pre-broken  so to speak , because the business  takes up so much of my time, particularly   now.

I  understand  you're attraction to  women  riding men  because I admit I enjoy watching my  friend riding his  carriers and the  measure he  uses to  control   them.
Obviously his carriers are willing participants who  obey even when he's not sitting on them.  I  assume  that your  carriers  behave  very similar .

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#111 2020-05-22 04:44:04

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-06-20
Posts: 261

Re: Spurs and Crops

@audreyb

I know what you mean about dominant personalities.  There are some people who carry themselves a certain way that exudes that dominance. Those people seem more at ease, and appear to be who they naturally are and not trying too hard to be tough or dominant.

That kind of personality can have a negative side. I've been described as arrogant and "unwilling or unable to follow direction" by some professional peers/leaders, and I'm continually learning how to adjust those tendencies. I'm wondering if as business owner you have found yourself in similar situations where you've had to placate customers or contacts and had to place their desires above yours. The real world comes with its own power dynamic, and we find ourselves sometimes with power, and sometimes without, and play the role that the situation demands

Over the years I have also gravitated towards the 'pre broken', or the experienced slave that has gone though all his doubts, knows his place and is comfortable with it. It makes for a more fulfilling time for both people involved. You're right, similar to those that serve you and your friend, my slaves serve me in every way. One does my housework, which is his reward for the opportunity to serve as my riding slave.



Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

I  believe you're right concerning my attraction to  dominant  men, especially  men who  dominate other men  is because I view them as  equals.  I know that my initial  attraction to my  gay  friend was that  the first time I saw  him he was engaged in a mild form of  domination.  His attitude at the time interested me  and amused  me  before we were even introduced  and  he was already informed of my  nature having been  invited by another  guest. It was a  Halloween party at my home while I was still married.

I find myself most attracted to  men who dominate  with their personality  rather than just  the classic  "tough guy" type. That's  why I was interested in what you said concerning your riding activities  and  your  attitude  that  is so similar to my  friend.

But  despite my attraction to dominant  men, I always feel the need to  control in  all of my relationships  and  that of course results in  the conflicts I mentioned. 
Since I'm a small business owner, I usually have to limit  my  intimate activities to men  who are  submissive by  nature . Pre-broken  so to speak , because the business  takes up so much of my time, particularly   now.

I  understand  you're attraction to  women  riding men  because I admit I enjoy watching my  friend riding his  carriers and the  measure he  uses to  control   them.
Obviously his carriers are willing participants who  obey even when he's not sitting on them.  I  assume  that your  carriers  behave  very similar .

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#112 2020-05-22 06:24:54

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-07-06
Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

krisbean:

I put a great deal of my personality aside when  dealing with customers and  fortunately I only have a few  regular customers and suppliers who are  particularly annoying or  obnoxious.  Since the customer is the only  reason for  any  business to exist, I have to do what is  necessary . 

When I have let my  personality reveal itself, it has been after the  client has  shown the signs of being  receptive.  Men are sometimes rather transparent in these matters and sometimes their reaction to a few  key  phrase I put into a conversation  will tell  me  more than they want to  reveal.  A phrase  inserted while looking  the  man in  the  eyes will often  tell me  a great  deal. If the  phrase is ignored or  the man seems put off by it, I retreat to  a  pure  business  dialogue . But if he flinches,  looks away or reacts as if I invaded his private thoughts, I will probe a little  deeper.
It might surprise you  how often  I have had a purchase or contract increased by finding the  client or representative's  Achilles heel.

Currently I have 4 men who basically serve me and one I'm working on when I have time to.   The four will do whatever I tell them  and three will invariably drop whatever they are doing to come when I call them.  I have no time  to  cater to the wishes or  fetishes of men who want to be  "slaves"  but attempt to  dominate from the submissive position. I'm always in charge and what they like or are in  a mood for is a matter of complete indifference to me. Obviously they have  a choice and can leave with the only  consequence being permanently dismissed.
Breaking and training a new  submissive is fun, but  time consuming  .  But  acquiring one isn't difficult  if you know where to look and how to spot them.

Since gay  men are  quite often  submissive.  my  friend has no problem finding them  and since he's basically independently wealthy, he  never has to concern  himself with  concealing his dominance.

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#113 2020-05-22 11:25:54

Hunter
Member
Male
Registered: 2019-01-19
Last visit: 2020-07-05
Posts: 192

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

I put a great deal of my personality aside when  dealing with customers and  fortunately I only have a few  regular customers and suppliers who are  particularly annoying or  obnoxious.  Since the customer is the only  reason for  any  business to exist, I have to do what is  necessary . 

When I have let my  personality reveal itself, it has been after the  client has  shown the signs of being  receptive.  Men are sometimes rather transparent in these matters and sometimes their reaction to a few  key  phrase I put into a conversation  will tell  me  more than they want to  reveal.  A phrase  inserted while looking  the  man in  the  eyes will often  tell me  a great  deal. If the  phrase is ignored or  the man seems put off by it, I retreat to  a  pure  business  dialogue . But if he flinches,  looks away or reacts as if I invaded his private thoughts, I will probe a little  deeper.
It might surprise you  how often  I have had a purchase or contract increased by finding the  client or representative's  Achilles heel.

Currently I have 4 men who basically serve me and one I'm working on when I have time to.   The four will do whatever I tell them  and three will invariably drop whatever they are doing to come when I call them.  I have no time  to  cater to the wishes or  fetishes of men who want to be  "slaves"  but attempt to  dominate from the submissive position. I'm always in charge and what they like or are in  a mood for is a matter of complete indifference to me. Obviously they have  a choice and can leave with the only  consequence being permanently dismissed.
Breaking and training a new  submissive is fun, but  time consuming  .  But  acquiring one isn't difficult  if you know where to look and how to spot them.

Since gay  men are  quite often  submissive.  my  friend has no problem finding them  and since he's basically independently wealthy, he  never has to concern  himself with  concealing his dominance.

If I pay money, may I become your slave?

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#114 2020-05-23 04:28:08

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-07-06
Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

Hunter:

I'm not a  prostitute or a professional  dominatrix.

On this  forum and occasionally a few others I communicate with  people I  find interesting and reply to posts I  find interesting.

You  Hunter have  insulted me,  called me a fake  like a  petulant child because I choose not to communicate with you.

I have no interest in you,  your money or your opinion of  me.

I hope  that is  clear enough.

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#115 2020-05-23 21:00:10

Alex
Member
Male, Germany
Registered: 2017-04-18
Last visit: 2020-07-05
Posts: 33

Re: Spurs and Crops

@krisbean:

This is really my personal preference but I desire to be submissive for women only. I can't really explain why but maybe this is something related to my personal female/male role model that I have in mind. In my book women should be on top, dominating males and make best use of their (physical) strength (by riding or sitting on them). On a more rational thought, I have wondered if I should also consider male riders and stop ignoring a good 50% of the population wink but it doesn't do it for me.

Now here's an interesting question: Would it make the ride more interesting for you knowing that your carrier prefers a rider of the opposite sex? Would it be more enjoyable to punish/discipline your carrier in a scenario like that?

I also believe it's not easy to meet women that are dominant. At least not right away. All of my riders where women I have become acquainted with and enjoyed their company for at least several weeks or months. If they are dominant, at some point in time they will start to 'probe' yourself like Audrey has described it. In some cases I had them request a shoulder ride in situations where they either are sure you won't turn it down or it is a less obvious and harmless thing to ask for (such as shoulder rides in concerts) for example.



krisbean wrote:

@alex,

It's very interesting to hear about your explanation for your submissiveness. I am curious to know if your desire to be submissive is expressed only for women, or for both genders. I've heard from other submissives that they have a strong desire to submit, regardless of the gender of the person they are submitting to, but I wonder if that's because it's not easy to meet with women that are dominant.

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#116 2020-05-27 01:55:14

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-06-20
Posts: 261

Re: Spurs and Crops

@audreyb,

Your perspective is interesting as always. Iím glad to hear that you donít have too many problematic clients.

I should take a page out of your book and attempt to tease out if the women Iím interested in are dominant or submissive. The problem in USA is that the subject of fetishes and kinks is still a taboo subject, and people donít talk about it openly. I have been with submissive women who expressed their wish to be hit, or dominated in some way, but not someone who expressed a dominant streak.

Do you have any suggestions for what I could ask or discuss to learn where they stand?

I can see how topping from the bottom can be annoying. It took a while for me to learn, but eventually I learnt how to filter those slaves out based on their communication style. Maybe some day Iíll com to enjoy breaking in a new slave, but for now Iím enjoying doing little work and going straight to the fun part of riding and being served. Iím pretty impressed with the number of slaves you manage.


Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

I put a great deal of my personality aside when  dealing with customers and  fortunately I only have a few  regular customers and suppliers who are  particularly annoying or  obnoxious.  Since the customer is the only  reason for  any  business to exist, I have to do what is  necessary . 

When I have let my  personality reveal itself, it has been after the  client has  shown the signs of being  receptive.  Men are sometimes rather transparent in these matters and sometimes their reaction to a few  key  phrase I put into a conversation  will tell  me  more than they want to  reveal.  A phrase  inserted while looking  the  man in  the  eyes will often  tell me  a great  deal. If the  phrase is ignored or  the man seems put off by it, I retreat to  a  pure  business  dialogue . But if he flinches,  looks away or reacts as if I invaded his private thoughts, I will probe a little  deeper.
It might surprise you  how often  I have had a purchase or contract increased by finding the  client or representative's  Achilles heel.

Currently I have 4 men who basically serve me and one I'm working on when I have time to.   The four will do whatever I tell them  and three will invariably drop whatever they are doing to come when I call them.  I have no time  to  cater to the wishes or  fetishes of men who want to be  "slaves"  but attempt to  dominate from the submissive position. I'm always in charge and what they like or are in  a mood for is a matter of complete indifference to me. Obviously they have  a choice and can leave with the only  consequence being permanently dismissed.
Breaking and training a new  submissive is fun, but  time consuming  .  But  acquiring one isn't difficult  if you know where to look and how to spot them.

Since gay  men are  quite often  submissive.  my  friend has no problem finding them  and since he's basically independently wealthy, he  never has to concern  himself with  concealing his dominance.

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#117 2020-05-27 05:31:44

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-07-06
Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

krisbean:

Actually at various times in my life I have juggled up to  7 men at the same time. Most were of course  just men I dated regularly and though a few wanted  something exclusive with me, I never  lied  or pretended any such arrangement  , not even with my (now Ex) husband.

The  four I have  now are all  submissive and  accept their roles in my life  and are aware that I still date other men.  I hesitate to  call them  my "slaves" though they like  being treated as such  and one  insists that he is my slave. Obviously  they get something that they want in serving me.  I honestly  don't care what  that is as long as I am served. I don't  indulge  in  any extreme  fetishes such as  whipping ,spanking or any thing involving diapers, body waste etc.   However some acts that  were once taboo are  now mainstream topic of conversation.

The only advice I could give  you in sorting out women for  dominant tendencies is to listen  to what they are saying carefully and watch their reactions to certain topics.
It's not always   clear  and  be careful of broaching the subject first.
Often  the woman will bait  you  with a  few  catch phrases  and checking your reactions.
For example, during a lunch meeting with a client, in the  casual  conversation   I  brought  up the subject of an employee who actually is basically worthless.
The reason he is still employed  with me is a long story.
I deliberately  used a   mild double entendre " I have to  sit on him to get anything  out of him" and  later I used the  term  "ride him all day" . Both  terms are acceptable expressions  in polite society ,obviously meaning watching him  and closely supervising.
But I saw  the clients  reaction , which was not  business related  and I  knew I had  him right where I wanted him and I got an  exclusive supply contract.
I have used the same tactic in  bars  and  other social occasions and  it  allows me to sort out  men.
Also,.  dominant women are usually confident  and if  they find you interesting they will make the first move.  One thing that  often annoys me is that even intelligent  men  often  fail to  notice when  a woman is flirting with them.  Often  the woman thinks the man isn't  interested when he doesn't respond to the  flirtation.

The last man I  took the time to actually break and train was my ex husband. He was a challenge for many reasons  and interesting  because he could be dangerous. It took well over a year  to break him  once I had infatuated and  addicted to me. The marriage lasted  just under two years and involved retraining him  several times before I simply got bored with him.

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#118 2020-05-28 18:10:19

JayRey8585
Member
Registered: 2020-03-09
Last visit: 2020-07-01
Posts: 55

Re: Spurs and Crops

@ Krisbean,

When you say youíre a demanding rider, what does that consist of?

@ Audreyb,

Hey! smile

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#119 2020-06-05 03:17:07

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-06-20
Posts: 261

Re: Spurs and Crops

@alex,

Thanks for taking the time to respond. It is always interesting to delve into the mind of a submissive. I feel like rationality has little to do with these matters, and we tend to follow our desires

That's an interesting question, and one that hadn't ocurred to me. Thinking about it now, I have to admit the orientation or preference of the slave does not matter to me that much, but I do enjoy it more when my slave is bigger or taller than me, likely because it means I have more power over them as a result.

Alex wrote:

@krisbean:

This is really my personal preference but I desire to be submissive for women only. I can't really explain why but maybe this is something related to my personal female/male role model that I have in mind. In my book women should be on top, dominating males and make best use of their (physical) strength (by riding or sitting on them). On a more rational thought, I have wondered if I should also consider male riders and stop ignoring a good 50% of the population wink but it doesn't do it for me.

Now here's an interesting question: Would it make the ride more interesting for you knowing that your carrier prefers a rider of the opposite sex? Would it be more enjoyable to punish/discipline your carrier in a scenario like that?

I also believe it's not easy to meet women that are dominant. At least not right away. All of my riders where women I have become acquainted with and enjoyed their company for at least several weeks or months. If they are dominant, at some point in time they will start to 'probe' yourself like Audrey has described it. In some cases I had them request a shoulder ride in situations where they either are sure you won't turn it down or it is a less obvious and harmless thing to ask for (such as shoulder rides in concerts) for example.



krisbean wrote:

@alex,

It's very interesting to hear about your explanation for your submissiveness. I am curious to know if your desire to be submissive is expressed only for women, or for both genders. I've heard from other submissives that they have a strong desire to submit, regardless of the gender of the person they are submitting to, but I wonder if that's because it's not easy to meet with women that are dominant.

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#120 2020-06-05 03:40:24

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-06-20
Posts: 261

Re: Spurs and Crops

@audreyb,

That is quite impressive! The thought of managing more than 2 slaves feels mentally exhausting to me.

That's a very good suggestion, about dropping a hint and checking for the woman's reaction. Thank you for that. In fact, since you mentioned it I tried it with a friend recently. She had made a comment, and i responded with a joke suggesting she should dominate someone. I was surprised how easy it can be to work it into conversation.

It's interesting you say that your ex-husband was dangerous. Was it that he wasn't a natural submissive, and he had a rebellious streak? 

Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

Actually at various times in my life I have juggled up to  7 men at the same time. Most were of course  just men I dated regularly and though a few wanted  something exclusive with me, I never  lied  or pretended any such arrangement  , not even with my (now Ex) husband.

The  four I have  now are all  submissive and  accept their roles in my life  and are aware that I still date other men.  I hesitate to  call them  my "slaves" though they like  being treated as such  and one  insists that he is my slave. Obviously  they get something that they want in serving me.  I honestly  don't care what  that is as long as I am served. I don't  indulge  in  any extreme  fetishes such as  whipping ,spanking or any thing involving diapers, body waste etc.   However some acts that  were once taboo are  now mainstream topic of conversation.

The only advice I could give  you in sorting out women for  dominant tendencies is to listen  to what they are saying carefully and watch their reactions to certain topics.
It's not always   clear  and  be careful of broaching the subject first.
Often  the woman will bait  you  with a  few  catch phrases  and checking your reactions.
For example, during a lunch meeting with a client, in the  casual  conversation   I  brought  up the subject of an employee who actually is basically worthless.
The reason he is still employed  with me is a long story.
I deliberately  used a   mild double entendre " I have to  sit on him to get anything  out of him" and  later I used the  term  "ride him all day" . Both  terms are acceptable expressions  in polite society ,obviously meaning watching him  and closely supervising.
But I saw  the clients  reaction , which was not  business related  and I  knew I had  him right where I wanted him and I got an  exclusive supply contract.
I have used the same tactic in  bars  and  other social occasions and  it  allows me to sort out  men.
Also,.  dominant women are usually confident  and if  they find you interesting they will make the first move.  One thing that  often annoys me is that even intelligent  men  often  fail to  notice when  a woman is flirting with them.  Often  the woman thinks the man isn't  interested when he doesn't respond to the  flirtation.

The last man I  took the time to actually break and train was my ex husband. He was a challenge for many reasons  and interesting  because he could be dangerous. It took well over a year  to break him  once I had infatuated and  addicted to me. The marriage lasted  just under two years and involved retraining him  several times before I simply got bored with him.

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#121 2020-06-05 03:42:03

krisbean
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Male (32), USA
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Posts: 261

Re: Spurs and Crops

@jeyrey

essentially I put my needs above the needs of the slave. I ride with a crop and spurs to make the slave carry me for longer, and I sit on the slave's neck, since I find it most comfortable.

JayRey8585 wrote:

@ Krisbean,

When you say youíre a demanding rider, what does that consist of?

@ Audreyb,

Hey! smile

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#122 2020-06-05 05:08:07

Audreyb
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Re: Spurs and Crops

krisbean:

My  ex-husband was potentially  dangerous because he is  physically  strong and
initially showed  almost no signs of submissiveness.  Quite the opposite in fact. 
I noticed several things about him that  were incongruous  to  his macho  image  and he  became  a challenge for me. I found  chinks in his armor so to speak  and  I wanted to  see if  I  could  break and train him , much like training a  wild  stallion.

I should  make it  clear that I didn't specifically have  riding  on his shoulders  etc.  as a  goal at the time  but rather to make him submit to me  completely in every way  and in  general.  Breaking him  down was a  process  since he had  many aversions,  prejudices and  hang-ups,  and since I never had any  intention of  being  monogamous with him  or pretending to be, the fact that he  could beat up  my other  boyfriends  was  an issue.

One of his aversions was in fact  being in anything like a submissive position and he was  uncomfortable  when I would  even  just sit on  his lap. Bear in  mind that he was a foot taller and  100  pounds heavier than I was  and I was hardly a burden.

I broke him  down a piece at a time without  really  knowing whether I wanted to keep  him in the end  or whether it was all about the contest.   
When he was completely addicted to me and I had him completely under my thumb,  he  begged me to marry  him.  I considered the advantages of having  someone who   was a close to  an actual slave as is possible  and after  getting him  to  agree to  a pre-nup that was legally  binding and entirely  in my  favor, I consented .

The problem was  that the more I pushed his limits,  the less interesting he  became  and  he  rebelled  several times. I let him  back into my life  after his  rebellions  after he  begged  long enough  until  the  final time when I divorced  him as much out of  boredom  as  anger. 

As for the lady you  mentioned, she  isn't as rare as you  might  think.
Far to many  women ignore their  desire to dominate men in the  physical sense.
They  either  see it as impossible or  unladylike  and only do so in  the  guise of  playing.
This often  results in  things like henpecking and belittling the  man rather than taking the  reins.

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#123 2020-06-09 17:09:17

JayRey8585
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Posts: 55

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb,

You where saying earlier (several comments above) that you once told a client that you have to sitting on a certain employee or ride him all day in order for him to get anything done. That comment literally made me laugh because, in a different thread, didnít you mention that you or another employee sat on his shoulders or something to that effect, to complete inventory at your company? Sounds like a good way to get use out of a useless employee!

Honestly, you give great advice and itís nice to see well, thought out responses.

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#124 2020-06-10 04:27:50

Audreyb
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Re: Spurs and Crops

JayRey8585:

In the case of my conversation with  the client, I was checking  out his response while using the phases Sitting"  and "Riding"  which  were of course metaphorical.  I notice several things about the  client, including his over-gentlemanly behavior, where is eyes  drifted and other indications of a submissive and possibly  masochistic nature.
It's a variation of several  business practices I use to soften up perspective clients.
Business  men  use sports,  alcohol  and even versions of prostitution to get better  deals, contracts etc.  I don't have the resources to compete with larger companies  so I use the  tools I  have. A little teasing can make a big  difference in my  bottom line  and  I'm not doing anything that's even  immoral. I  was just taking advantage of something that was already part of the client's nature.

No, I did not  sit on that  employee's shoulders. The  girl in  charge of the stockroom did . It was  simply easier  than using a ladder and since  our  stockroom area  is very  tight, it was safer  for  her sit on his shoulders and  move along  the higher shelves.

I wasn't making up the fact that  the man is  worthless and in previous posts I mentioned why  he's worthless  and why I keep him employed. Serving  my stock clerk  as  a seat was probably the most useful  thing he's even been.
She  couldn't even count on  him to count correctly or  keep the cards in order.
Perhaps  she delayed a little longer than  was  necessary .  I  know she doesn't like him  either  and to be  honest, I rather hope she did.  He  might have been better off if I  had been the one on his shoulders .  I'm  lighter than  my  stock  clerk but  I was  busy with my accountant and crunching  numbers.

We are entirely computerized concerning inventory now,  so there is no  need to inventory that way anymore. I'm  glad really  but I rather enjoyed thinking about him getting squashed  and finally being useful something.

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#125 2020-06-10 05:28:13

JayRey8585
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Posts: 55

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb,

I didnít mean to come off as if I didnít believe the story regarding the employee! Sorry if I did!

I actually was trying to convey that I thought the use of the said employee was rather clever!

I donít remember the reasoning of why you keep the gentleman employed though!? (It would be interesting to hear though!)

When you said, it might have been better if you would have been the one sitting on him instead of the clerk, what do you mean outside of the weight difference between you and you stockroom clerk? Could she not count correctly because he was a horrible seat or was it more of a deliberate Action to slow down the counting process? wink

Also, was he mad when she asked to use him to sit on to count? What was your immediate reaction when you saw it?

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#126 2020-06-10 21:22:18

Audreyb
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Re: Spurs and Crops

JayRey8585:

I wasn't offended and if  I am , I will  make  it  very  clear.

My  clerk  came up with the idea  on her own. in  fact,  she wasn't at all happy with having him help with that part of the inventory ,  but  he was the one I could  spare and also because  the stockroom  area is  very hot at that time of year  and  I didn't want to subject  anyone else to  that  stuffy  area. Obviously  the  Stock Clerk had to be up there since  inventory was part of her  job. 
He did  complain  about her weight  which I assume would make her sit  on him  longer than  required at times. She's not  obese  of course but I know she was at least  as heavy as he  is.   As I said,  holding her  up there was about the  only useful  purpose he  served  since he's worked here.  He messes up  everything .It's almost a pity I can't assign him  as  furniture permanently.
I just meant that  I weigh less than my  stock clerk  and  I would be  less a burden  sitting on him.  I might have been more demanding  however.

The worthless one  is the ex-husband of an old  friend. We  were  friends as  young  girls  and she comes from a  wealthy  family .  She  was very  generous  with  me  and my family was  far less well off.  I think  she went  a little crazy at some point  because she married  this  fool  who is a total loser and a pig . I hated  him and everything about him  from the first day I met him. He  bragged out  awful things he did  and his  enjoyment of  things like  dog-fights, cruelties  and things I can't  bring myself to  mention.
Long Story  Short,  he  family  disowned her when she married  the  pig and  one day she  regained her insanity  and divorced him.
But she  doesn't work and has no skills and  he  has to pay  for her support.
So I hired him  because no one else  would,  not even the car wash, so he could  pay  the support.  He  keeps trying to win her back  and  beside the support payments,  she  manages  to get  most of what I pay him,  which is many times more than he's worth.

I do get some  satisfaction out of  knowing she fleeces him  regularly, teases and taunts him out  of  his salary and occasionally has her  boyfriend  beat him up.
Her  boyfriend is a loser too,  but not  quite as bad  as he is.

As for your last  question, I basically approved  of my  clerks use of him. I couldn't order such an arrangement    but I pretended to ignore it . His  face was red and he  was straining to stand still. I remember imagining he was  getting  shorter and that made me smile.

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#127 2020-06-10 23:02:51

JayRey8585
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Registered: 2020-03-09
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Posts: 55

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb,

Everything in your last comment was awesome - minus the fact he was into dog fighting.

How tall is he and approximate weight?

How tall is the store clerk?

You would think he would have been smart enough to not complain about her weight. Sounds like she should have kicked him a few times! Ha.

How awesome would it be if you could in fact make him human furniture!? What piece of furniture would you have him be first?!

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#128 2020-06-11 06:27:09

Audreyb
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Last visit: 2020-07-06
Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

JayRey8585:

I detest people who  like  watching animals get hurt  and dog fighting is revolting.
That  and other things he thought of as entertainment is why I hated him  from the first day I met him.

I think he's about 5 ft 9in.  Perhaps  5 ft 10.  He was a little heavier when I  met him   but at the time of the inventory he weighed approximately 160 lbs or so   and  my  stock clerk is just about  5ft. 3in. tall . She wears tennis shoes most of the time and I wear heels almost always, so I'm  guessing that she's an inch taller than I am.

I'm  not surprised at all that he was stupid  enough to insult her while she was sitting on him like that. He  is foul mouthed in  general and can't seem to keep his mouth shut.
I don't know if she kicked him or  how hard .  I know I would have had I been  sitting up there.

Once when he destroyed my office chair while  trying to  change a roller, I threatened  to use his back as a replacement. I was  only half serious of course  but that chair cost  almost 3 times what I  pay him  which is already more than he's worth.
My accountant was  kind enough to  give me his chair until mine was replaced .
I think  making him  into a chair would  be fitting except his  hygiene  might be unpleasant .   
The way I feel about him,  perhaps making him serve as my accountant's chair would be fitting. He  (my accountant) weighs about 270 lbs and is  quite fat.   I doubt he would last very long under my accountant's big  bottom  but I would  love to see  that.

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#129 2020-06-11 11:50:05

JayRey8585
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Registered: 2020-03-09
Last visit: 2020-07-01
Posts: 55

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb:

Being a chair does seem to be the appropriate workload for this employee. As you joked about you using him as a chair, what would you have done if he got down and assumed his position as your chair behind you desk? I bet you could get by with having him as your chair! Would you have kicked him hard and just because or if he made comments to you?

Riders and Carriers:

On a few other forums, I see that people are recommending or advising to not use spurs on human carriers for fear someone could hurt the other. What are your thoughts on this?

If a carrier (like many on this site) wants to feel like a beast of burden (horse) why would the rider not be allowed to wear spurs. People donít think twice about wearing spurs on a real horse and seem to have no problem using them so to an extent, I donít see why all of a sudden itís an issue to use on their human horse or carrier. Spurs can most definitely hurt a horse too.

Give me your opinions!

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#130 2020-06-11 17:13:57

Audreyb
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Last visit: 2020-07-06
Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

JayRey8585:

The worthless one would never get down to become  my  chair  unless I ordered him to  and he would probably try something like trying to sue me for  the abuse.
If  not for that, I would treat him  exactly  like any other chair,  though I  doubt I could resist kicking him.

As for  your  spurs question, I  have  worn  them for show  but  only  used them  very  lightly  and because of the insistence of the man I was sitting  on.  Also,  my spurs are not  the  sharp roller  kind that could  seriously injure my carrier. Some carriers  crave such abuse,  but I have some limits   and since I have only  used spurs  when riding a  guy who was on all fours, I don't want  blood on my  carpeting.  A horse's  hide is  tougher than  a human male  and my spiked  heels are  more than enough to "spur him on".

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#131 2020-06-11 19:16:47

JayRey8585
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Registered: 2020-03-09
Last visit: 2020-07-01
Posts: 55

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb:

I do agree a horses hide is thicker, but they can still bleed. Whatís using your spurs lightly consist of? (On a 1-10 scale with 10 being the hardest you could kick) Also, just for comparison, how hard would you spur a bio horse on average if riding? (1-10 scale)

Hunter:

Please donít start begging her for rides or becoming her chair. Itís getting old.

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#132 2020-06-12 05:45:11

Audreyb
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Registered: 2014-09-29
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Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

JayRey8585:

Using the spurs lightly is as in hard enough to cause pain and perhaps  leave a  mark  but  will  normally heal.  The guy who insists on calling himself  my "slave" also likes the spurs and even bought me some that have the  sharp rollers .They are quite ornate  but I barely touch him with those spurs.

My own  equestrian spurs are plain metal with rounded tips made for riding  real horses.
I know  they  hurt him more when they hit his thighs because I can feel him lurch from the pain since I'm sitting on his  back at the time. He has a bit of a hanging  belly and that's where I try to kick him with the spurs  because they only leave a red  mark and are  not even as  bad as my spiked heels. Since the spurs only work while I'm wearing boots  and I don't  usually dress up to  ride him except as a specific favor, I 'spur"  him  more  often with the spiked heels  because I'm  more likely to  ride him  when I feel like doing so then  when he wants  me to.  It's his fetish , but I'm  always in  charge.

I don't know how  to measure  on the  1 to 10  scale. I could probably kick the  spurs though his skin and into  his body if I really tried,  but of course I wouldn't.
Based on that, I suppose my normal spurring would be  perhaps a 2 or  3 on  the scale.

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#133 2020-06-12 06:41:10

JayRey8585
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Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb,

I completely understand what youíre saying.

I was trying to get a good side-by-side comparison as to what you think you force is on a human mount with your spurs versus what your force would be on a bio horse with same said spurs. Again, rough guess on a 1-10 scale for both.

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#134 2020-06-12 17:15:24

Audreyb
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Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

JayRey8585:

I don't imagine I spur  a  real horse  more than  twice as hard as a human carrier so I suppose a  (6) would be the maximum. That is of course with my  normal riding spurs.
I have never  even  sat on a  horse  wearing the roller  spurs.

The only animal  I ever kicked really hard was a  donkey that I rented on a little island where no  vehicles were allowed except  bicycles. The other option  was to  rent a  bicycle or walk so I  chose   the donkey. I wasn't expecting such limitations and was wearing my  usual  heels , a skirt and  blouse  so I wasn't dressed for  riding a donkey either.   The little  beast I rented stubborn and  made  donkey  noises as soon  as I sat on  him and I had to  kick  him to make him move at all. There were  a lot of people  much larger than  me riding donkeys  that were much more  obedient  so he was just a bad  donkey. At one point he  even tried to  bite me and I hit him  hard on the  nose and  then  I tried to  spur  him  with my  heels. My  heels glanced off   but my shoe still hit him hard and he behaved a little better  but still had to be  kicked every time I wanted to  go up  hill or  even  a little faster. He wanted me off his back and I was determined to stay on him no matter what. I kicked him as hard as I could all the way to the top of one of the steeper  hills to a little shop I wanted to go into. I tied him  to a  hitching post and  shopped for  a short time and of course  the donkey tried to keep me from  sitting on him  again. I had to get another  tourist to  hold his  reins  so I could get  on his back.   From that point on I didn't spare that  little beast from my hardest kicks.
I think  he was the only  animal I was ever abusive to and I  don't  regret it.

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#135 2020-06-12 21:50:39

JayRey8585
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Registered: 2020-03-09
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Posts: 55

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb,

LOL! Your luck sounds like mine. I would be the one person out of 100 people to get the most stubborn donkey there ever was!

Did he make sounds or noises when you were kicking him hard? Did other people around you notice how hard you were having to kick? Did his pace ever really change?

Did you have to ride him bareback or did he have a saddle? Did he have a bit in his mouth or was the reins just attached to his halter?

Obviously we donít know if your kick with spurs (6 on a 10 scale) on a horse hurts or more of a sting since they donít talk, but Iíve seen a few carriers on here say their riders wear spurs and use them and that they hurt. Now how hard was their rider kicking, because Iím sure that makes a huge difference too.

Last edited by JayRey8585 (2020-06-12 22:29:36)

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#136 2020-06-15 03:47:02

Audreyb
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Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

JayRey8585:

I remember the sound he  made and  it was  more  like "hawww"  than it was 
"hee haw" like the other donkey's I encountered. He was a little smaller than the  donkey's other people were riding but I was also smaller than  most of the other tourist too. One couple , perhaps in their  40s? were both  more than  double  my weight but their donkeys moved with just  ordinary kicks  . One woman who was sitting on her  donkey was so big that all you could see  was the donkey's neck and some of it's rear end. She  covered the rest.
Some of the  donkeys had a thick blanket on their  back but  mine only had a  bit and reins . I thought the hair would be  prickly  where I sat on  him  because I was  bare  legged and wearing a skirt    but that wasn't  a  problem.
I don't  think anyone  particularly  noticed  my problems  or  me kicking him .  No one said anything. I do remember wishing I weighed more several times  or I could  trade  donkeys with one of those  heavy people.  The only person I talked to was the  guy who held the little beast for me  when I was  trying to get back on  him.
I  remember asking  the  man if he knew if there was a restaurant on the  island that   served  donkey steak. It was a joke of course and he laughed  but I was almost serious.

The little beast  did  go a little faster   when I kicked him  harder but  I had to keep  kicking or he would slow down again or even stop. I think my legs were  as tired from  kicking him as he was  carrying me.

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#137 2020-06-15 14:43:52

rider_in
Member
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Posts: 45

Re: Spurs and Crops

JayRey8585 :
For your question on spurs...

Well, I think use of spurs is okay, if the carrier agrees to it. Personally, I haven't used spurs and have no desire to use them, I think a kick with the feet works too. Having said that, I have no objection in using spurs or any other gears like stirrups, reins or even crop etc. but at the same time these gears are not "necessary" for me to enjoy the ride.

Ofcourse, these equipment can give the rider better control and stability and may enhance the "fun" of the ride. Just like reins/stirrups could be helpful for ride to have a more stable and "in-control" ride. Similarly, the spurs can be very helpful if the carrier is showing laziness or showing disobedience. Some carriers even like their riders to get full submission from them rather then just giving up full control.

While i've always said that ride should be satisfying for both but comfort of RIDER has much HIGHER importance and pony should happily experience some discomfort for rider's satisfaction. It's the very basic nature of this activity and I feel if the rider is not in comfort or having "fun", the carrier automatically won't be able to enjoy his fetish as well.

About the thing where you said if the carrier wants to feel beast of burden...

Acc to me, if a carrier wants to feel like a actual horse or a beast of burden, he could be simply meaning that he wants to be ridden till exhaustion and maybe more after he's totally exhausted. Now, in such situation , the spurs are a handy tool but I don't think the two have to have a connection in all scenarios.

Finally, if the carrier wants it or atleast has no disagreement or isn't uncomfortable with his/her rider using spurs on him then its totally okay to use them. But the rider should be very careful anyhow, the use should be just enough make an impact so that  the carrier is focused on giving you a ride as you want rather than on his tiredness or exhaustion but using it to the extent of cruelty and/or selfishness where the carrier is injured or blood is dripping from his skin would be completely foolish of the rider for now the ride obviously can't be continued and they have to get the injury treated etc. where in all this time could be used to have more "fun" rides.
Also, the injury might also become a issue of performance for further rides i.e. the carrier may not be able to give rides for a long time or he may not be able to give as good (or long) rides that he was able to before getting that injury.
Thanks.

PS : these are just my thoughts, yours might differ. I am open to a discussion on this (and other riding related topics) here or privately through mail.

JayRey8585 wrote:

Audreyb:

Being a chair does seem to be the appropriate workload for this employee. As you joked about you using him as a chair, what would you have done if he got down and assumed his position as your chair behind you desk? I bet you could get by with having him as your chair! Would you have kicked him hard and just because or if he made comments to you?

Riders and Carriers:

On a few other forums, I see that people are recommending or advising to not use spurs on human carriers for fear someone could hurt the other. What are your thoughts on this?

If a carrier (like many on this site) wants to feel like a beast of burden (horse) why would the rider not be allowed to wear spurs. People donít think twice about wearing spurs on a real horse and seem to have no problem using them so to an extent, I donít see why all of a sudden itís an issue to use on their human horse or carrier. Spurs can most definitely hurt a horse too.

Give me your opinions!

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#138 2020-06-15 19:18:06

JayRey8585
Member
Registered: 2020-03-09
Last visit: 2020-07-01
Posts: 55

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb:

It sounds like it was a battle between you and the donkey! Both had the mindset you were each going to win and it sounds like it was a wash. Lol. I donít know that Iíve seen or heard of an animal as stubborn as the one you had. Your kicks must not have hurt because it sounds like they had no effect on him for the most part. Hell, you were ready to squash him by the end of your ride! Haha.

I will say, if the other tourists that were riding weighed 260+ pounds, those donkeys will be glue by the end of the year! There is no way that is remotely good to over load their backs like that. Just my opinion.

Rider_in:

I agree that the carrier must agree or consent to the use of spurs. I think you are dead on when you say that the carriers view of being treated like a horse is more in line with being ridden to exhaustion. Spurs would come in handy in this situation. I also think spurs can be use like Audreyb has used them. Instead of spurring really hard when the carrier is getting tired or maybe not giving his full attention to what the rider is asking of him, a simple Ďjabí or kick with the riders spurs might be enough for him to refocus his attention or an added bit of motivation to pick up the pace! Using spurs while sitting on a carriers shoulders would be easier I think from the standpoint that the carriers sides are more accessible for the rider.

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#139 2020-06-16 12:33:31

rider_in
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Re: Spurs and Crops

I agree with how audreyb justified use of spurs. That's exactly what i meant when i said that the impact should be just enough to get your pony/carrier pay you full attention.

JayRey8585 wrote:

Audreyb:

It sounds like it was a battle between you and the donkey! Both had the mindset you were each going to win and it sounds like it was a wash. Lol. I donít know that Iíve seen or heard of an animal as stubborn as the one you had. Your kicks must not have hurt because it sounds like they had no effect on him for the most part. Hell, you were ready to squash him by the end of your ride! Haha.

I will say, if the other tourists that were riding weighed 260+ pounds, those donkeys will be glue by the end of the year! There is no way that is remotely good to over load their backs like that. Just my opinion.

Rider_in:

I agree that the carrier must agree or consent to the use of spurs. I think you are dead on when you say that the carriers view of being treated like a horse is more in line with being ridden to exhaustion. Spurs would come in handy in this situation. I also think spurs can be use like Audreyb has used them. Instead of spurring really hard when the carrier is getting tired or maybe not giving his full attention to what the rider is asking of him, a simple Ďjabí or kick with the riders spurs might be enough for him to refocus his attention or an added bit of motivation to pick up the pace! Using spurs while sitting on a carriers shoulders would be easier I think from the standpoint that the carriers sides are more accessible for the rider.

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#140 2020-06-17 06:09:08

Audreyb
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Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-07-06
Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

JayRey8585:

I  know my  kicking hurt the  donkey enough to  make him go a little faster and go when he  didn't want to,  But the animal seemed want to test  my resolve, or he was just exceptionally  stupid.  I  would  have liked  to  have squashed him or traded with one of the  heavier people  so they  could squash him.

The  three heavy people I  mentioned might have weighed  more than  260lbs.
The one I  mentioned that almost  hid the  donkey she was sitting on may have weighed   more.  As for the  donkeys they were riding becoming  glue, I  can only suppose the owner of the stable knew  his donkeys  could carry them.
I was told donkeys are  quite strong.  But since  their only  use  is a  beasts of  burden, they wouldn't exist at all  if people didn't want to  sit on them,  much as chickens and beef cattle  wouldn't exist  if people didn't like to eat them. No one would  house them or feed them if not for the profit.

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#141 2020-06-17 10:53:24

JayRey8585
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Registered: 2020-03-09
Last visit: 2020-07-01
Posts: 55

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb,

Sounds like you would have used spurs on this creature if you had a pair?! Did you notice the donkeyís backs sagging under some of these extreme weights or any other signs of a bit discomfort in these beasts?

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#142 2020-06-17 17:34:27

Audreyb
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Registered: 2014-09-29
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Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

JayRey8585:

Obviously I didn't watch all of the other  people on donkeys. I was too busy with the little beast  beneath me. I did encounter the  plus size couple I  mentioned at the little shop where I got off the  beast for a short time. When they  remounted their  donkeys,  the donkeys made a noise that I assumed was a  complaint  and the  same man who  held my  donkey's head so I could sit on him again also help  the  plus-size  lady sit on her donkey  because she had trouble getting on him. That helpful man's  donkey made the same sound when he got on him again.
Yes,  the plus size couple's  donkey's backs sagged under their weight and the woman's feet might have almost touched the ground had she not been  rather  small in  stature.
I suppose  my donkey's back sagged  when I  sat on him  too,  but I didn't  give it any  thought at the time.
Yes, I would have used spurs and a crop, possibly even  those sharp roller type spurs if I had  had them at the time.  It was  embarrassing to be the only one who had to  kick my donkey  and  post on his back to get him to  move. But it's hard to post (bounce your  bottom) on a donkey when your feet are not in  stirrups.

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#143 2020-06-17 23:25:00

JayRey8585
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Registered: 2020-03-09
Last visit: 2020-07-01
Posts: 55

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb,

When you see their backs sag that bad, do you feel bad for them slightly?

Iím willing to bet, youíre donkeyís back didnít sag under you unless he was a just a tiny thing. Otherwise, no way would it sag under you small amount of weight.

In this case, do you think spurs would have helped you? How hard would you have kicked with them?

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#144 2020-06-20 15:39:24

krisbean
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Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-06-20
Posts: 261

Re: Spurs and Crops

@adudreyb

I see. Thanks for sharing. I think I'll drop a few more hints for my friend and notice her reaction. I'm also hoping that once the quarantine lifts, I can visit some events to try and meet like minded women there as well

Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

My  ex-husband was potentially  dangerous because he is  physically  strong and
initially showed  almost no signs of submissiveness.  Quite the opposite in fact. 
I noticed several things about him that  were incongruous  to  his macho  image  and he  became  a challenge for me. I found  chinks in his armor so to speak  and  I wanted to  see if  I  could  break and train him , much like training a  wild  stallion.

I should  make it  clear that I didn't specifically have  riding  on his shoulders  etc.  as a  goal at the time  but rather to make him submit to me  completely in every way  and in  general.  Breaking him  down was a  process  since he had  many aversions,  prejudices and  hang-ups,  and since I never had any  intention of  being  monogamous with him  or pretending to be, the fact that he  could beat up  my other  boyfriends  was  an issue.

One of his aversions was in fact  being in anything like a submissive position and he was  uncomfortable  when I would  even  just sit on  his lap. Bear in  mind that he was a foot taller and  100  pounds heavier than I was  and I was hardly a burden.

I broke him  down a piece at a time without  really  knowing whether I wanted to keep  him in the end  or whether it was all about the contest.   
When he was completely addicted to me and I had him completely under my thumb,  he  begged me to marry  him.  I considered the advantages of having  someone who   was a close to  an actual slave as is possible  and after  getting him  to  agree to  a pre-nup that was legally  binding and entirely  in my  favor, I consented .

The problem was  that the more I pushed his limits,  the less interesting he  became  and  he  rebelled  several times. I let him  back into my life  after his  rebellions  after he  begged  long enough  until  the  final time when I divorced  him as much out of  boredom  as  anger. 

As for the lady you  mentioned, she  isn't as rare as you  might  think.
Far to many  women ignore their  desire to dominate men in the  physical sense.
They  either  see it as impossible or  unladylike  and only do so in  the  guise of  playing.
This often  results in  things like henpecking and belittling the  man rather than taking the  reins.

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#145 2020-06-24 04:44:51

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-07-06
Posts: 390

Re: Spurs and Crops

JayRey8585 :



>When you see their backs sag that bad, do you feel bad for them slightly?<

Not really. I was too  angry at  the donkey I was riding to care about the others.
From my  point of view, those donkeys only exist  because people  like to sit on them and bearing the weight of  people is what they are for.  Sheep, cattle and  hogs are raised  because people prefer to  eat them and they are an industry for profit  just as the  donkeys are an industry for transporting people on  their backs. They earn  their keep  by their labor.

>Iím willing to bet, youíre donkeyís back didnít sag under you unless he was a just a tiny thing. Otherwise, no way would it sag under you small amount of weight.<

The donkey was smaller than the others  and though it wasn't my intention to hurt him for the sake of  hurting him in the  beginning,  I rather  hoped my weight on his back caused him  some discomfort when I  sat on him  after he made riding him so  difficult.


>In this case, do you think spurs would have helped you? How hard would you have kicked with them? <

Yes,  spurs would have helped  because sitting on him as I was, it was difficult to  use my sharp  heels  effectively  as I sometimes do  when I'm riding my  human carrier.
the donkey's body is  deeper of course and sitting on him as I was I could only kick him with the leather part of the upper heel. I did spike him with heel a couple of times but it took some effort. If I had  my equestrian spurs on my  riding  boots, I could have  spurred him more effectively . But with just my shoes, I  couldn't kick him  hard enough.
I did  post on him at times and while I post on a  horse for normal reasons, I sat down as  hard as I could .  But without stirrups ,it was really  just more like  bouncing on him  than posting. I was probably hurting my butt  more than I was hurting that little beast.

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