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#101 2020-05-14 07:15:34

sunnynair80oo.com
Member
Registered: 2015-11-07
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 113

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audrey, I wanna meet you. Could you please give your mail id


Indian rider here.Posting my pic.Ponies do contact

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#102 2020-05-14 20:07:44

Misiulo
Member
Male (28), Poland
Registered: 2009-05-12
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 160
Website

Re: Spurs and Crops

Ehm Guys smile Audrey is a female riding Mistress from USA, and the last thing i know She was pretty satisfied with the contents of Her stable ad not looking for new rides unfortunately.

When addressing an accomplished user like Her, especially a Lady it is wise to use search options first. Where are you from?! You're a fake, cos you didn't answer me! That's probably not the best way to start an acqueintance. And if anything it is likely to make Her even less open and willing to share.

IMHO, We should be welcoming to anybody willing to actively share real life experiences and knowledge with us.

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#103 2020-05-15 02:39:18

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 257

Re: Spurs and Crops

@audreyb, not at all actually. I've experienced first hand (from the male and female perspective) how difficult it is to maintain friendships with the opposite sex, without one or the other person wanting something more. Your friendship makes sense for the reason you stated.

Would you describe yourself as dominant?

Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

I understand that your carriers prefer not to  carry women and though my association with my friend and others, I have encountered many  gay men who are quite masochistic and also attracted to dominant straight men.

It may seem odd  that a woman would have a gay man as a close friend but it's been a  very good relationship for  me  and I assume  for him as well.
No  jealousies ,competitions or sexual tensions .

I have a few  straight  men  who willingly serve  me  very much like your gay  men serve you. However I  don't have any gay women in that  capacity  simply because I find lesbian relationships become complicated far to often.

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#104 2020-05-15 02:45:41

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 257

Re: Spurs and Crops

@esel,

I was curious to know a bit about your attitude towards carrying. Your post on another thread caught my eye:

"A donkey doesn't choose his rider, nor his/her riding manners ... Likewise a slave doesn't choose his owner, nor his/her whims and wishes ..."

I was curious to know how you came to feel this way. Also, I'm sorry this is a personal question, and I completely understand if you don't wish to answer, but do you identify as gay or straight?

I ask b/c I have a straight man who serves as my pony, but he is first and foremost a submissive, and he believes it is his purpose to serve those above him. Was curious if your thoughts were similar.

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#105 2020-05-15 04:04:49

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 378

Re: Spurs and Crops

krisbean:

I'm  glad you understand about my friend and me.  Many  people seem  to find our relationship odd  but we were attracted to each other on the first day  we  met.
The attraction was on a nonsexual level, rather  more personality to personality and kindred spirits.

Yes I have always been  dominant in all of my relationship  from my earliest  memories.
I rarely maintain any relationship where there is a conflict in this.
I have of course dated men who wanted to be "in charge"  but  rarely more than once.
It's not that I dislike  masculine men, but rather  that we  tend to clash early and  waste each other's time. There have been a few exceptions  that became a struggle of wills  but lately I  prefer men who simply submit or are submissive by nature. Most of them are quite satisfied with this arrangement.

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#106 2020-05-17 02:36:46

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 257

Re: Spurs and Crops

@audreyb

that's interesting about your dominance. I've always been curious about how dominance and submissiveness form in a person. My theory is that whatever gives rise to submissiveness is also what gives rise to dominance.

I understand what you mean about the struggle of wills. My relationships that were with women that were 'low interference/input' were the more  successful ones.

Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

I'm  glad you understand about my friend and me.  Many  people seem  to find our relationship odd  but we were attracted to each other on the first day  we  met.
The attraction was on a nonsexual level, rather  more personality to personality and kindred spirits.

Yes I have always been  dominant in all of my relationship  from my earliest  memories.
I rarely maintain any relationship where there is a conflict in this.
I have of course dated men who wanted to be "in charge"  but  rarely more than once.
It's not that I dislike  masculine men, but rather  that we  tend to clash early and  waste each other's time. There have been a few exceptions  that became a struggle of wills  but lately I  prefer men who simply submit or are submissive by nature. Most of them are quite satisfied with this arrangement.

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#107 2020-05-19 14:27:30

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 378

Re: Spurs and Crops

krisbean:

There is often  the question of nature  vs  nurture and I have questioned this in myself  and  basically concluded that in my case it's probably both.

My mother was very much the dominant one in my family and my father  seemed to prefer the arrangement and my  younger brother  was more or less trained to accept  it.
In  retrospect,  I  even  dominated  my  father  though at the time I  didn't fully understand the concept. I was  his "little princess" and he  just   did  what I wanted.
I simply accepted that men  did what women told them to.

Obviously this view didn't last when I  went to school  and discovered  that  boys would fight back  and being one of the smaller girls  , physically dominating  boys as I did my  younger  brother wasn't  an option. 

I did  find some boys  who would submit to my will  but also  developed an attraction to  boys who bullied other boys.  To this day I have  never been able to really  rationalize  these conflicting feelings. I simply accept and enjoy them.

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#108 2020-05-20 18:49:51

Alex
Member
Male, Germany
Registered: 2017-04-18
Last visit: 2020-05-28
Posts: 31

Re: Spurs and Crops

@AudreyB:

This is an interesting aspect and this is also part of childhood memories I have. My mom always seemed to be the dominating one and I guess that circumstance is also what has influenced me a lot.

Being submissive is just something which feels right for me although I can't really explain in a rational way. I choose to enjoy those feelings in similar way you do. It shouldn't be any different if you ask me but sometimes I notice this sort of nature vs. nurture conflict in other women and for them this seems to be a real tough call. On one hand there are those feelings they obviously enjoy, e.g. riding/sitting on top of a man, being in control etc. and then on the other hand there is this maybe educational or society driven expectation of how they think they should behave instead which is a conflict and this is ruining all the fun for themselves. Anyways those are just my observations..

Did any of those boys back in school appear less interesting to you *after* they have submitted to your will?

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#109 2020-05-21 04:35:49

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 257

Re: Spurs and Crops

@audreyb

that's an interesting observation. There is (at least for me) a sexual component to being dominant. Do you think nurture could contribute to that as well? I can see how that could be the case, since as sexual feelings emerge for the opposite sex, those get layered with the nature element of one's environment.

Also very interesting to learn about your attraction to boys who bullied other boys. One theory could be that you have a sexual preference for dominant men (possibly because you consider them equal), or because your attraction to men and attraction to domination were combined.

I personally enjoy watching women ride and dominate men, but I don't want to be dominated by women, and instead prefer to dominate other men. It's an interesting realization, and one that I can't fully explain. Like you, I have come to accept and enjoy, but it would still be nice to think of why I am that way.

One would think that there would be some analysis of why submissive and dominant tendencies develop. 

Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

There is often  the question of nature  vs  nurture and I have questioned this in myself  and  basically concluded that in my case it's probably both.

My mother was very much the dominant one in my family and my father  seemed to prefer the arrangement and my  younger brother  was more or less trained to accept  it.
In  retrospect,  I  even  dominated  my  father  though at the time I  didn't fully understand the concept. I was  his "little princess" and he  just   did  what I wanted.
I simply accepted that men  did what women told them to.

Obviously this view didn't last when I  went to school  and discovered  that  boys would fight back  and being one of the smaller girls  , physically dominating  boys as I did my  younger  brother wasn't  an option. 

I did  find some boys  who would submit to my will  but also  developed an attraction to  boys who bullied other boys.  To this day I have  never been able to really  rationalize  these conflicting feelings. I simply accept and enjoy them.

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#110 2020-05-21 04:42:26

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 257

Re: Spurs and Crops

@alex,

It's very interesting to hear about your explanation for your submissiveness. I am curious to know if your desire to be submissive is expressed only for women, or for both genders. I've heard from other submissives that they have a strong desire to submit, regardless of the gender of the person they are submitting to, but I wonder if that's because it's not easy to meet with women that are dominant.


Alex wrote:

@AudreyB:

This is an interesting aspect and this is also part of childhood memories I have. My mom always seemed to be the dominating one and I guess that circumstance is also what has influenced me a lot.

Being submissive is just something which feels right for me although I can't really explain in a rational way. I choose to enjoy those feelings in similar way you do. It shouldn't be any different if you ask me but sometimes I notice this sort of nature vs. nurture conflict in other women and for them this seems to be a real tough call. On one hand there are those feelings they obviously enjoy, e.g. riding/sitting on top of a man, being in control etc. and then on the other hand there is this maybe educational or society driven expectation of how they think they should behave instead which is a conflict and this is ruining all the fun for themselves. Anyways those are just my observations..

Did any of those boys back in school appear less interesting to you *after* they have submitted to your will?

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#111 2020-05-21 19:42:48

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 378

Re: Spurs and Crops

krisbean:

I  believe you're right concerning my attraction to  dominant  men, especially  men who  dominate other men  is because I view them as  equals.  I know that my initial  attraction to my  gay  friend was that  the first time I saw  him he was engaged in a mild form of  domination.  His attitude at the time interested me  and amused  me  before we were even introduced  and  he was already informed of my  nature having been  invited by another  guest. It was a  Halloween party at my home while I was still married.

I find myself most attracted to  men who dominate  with their personality  rather than just  the classic  "tough guy" type. That's  why I was interested in what you said concerning your riding activities  and  your  attitude  that  is so similar to my  friend.

But  despite my attraction to dominant  men, I always feel the need to  control in  all of my relationships  and  that of course results in  the conflicts I mentioned. 
Since I'm a small business owner, I usually have to limit  my  intimate activities to men  who are  submissive by  nature . Pre-broken  so to speak , because the business  takes up so much of my time, particularly   now.

I  understand  you're attraction to  women  riding men  because I admit I enjoy watching my  friend riding his  carriers and the  measure he  uses to  control   them.
Obviously his carriers are willing participants who  obey even when he's not sitting on them.  I  assume  that your  carriers  behave  very similar .

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#112 2020-05-22 04:44:04

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 257

Re: Spurs and Crops

@audreyb

I know what you mean about dominant personalities.  There are some people who carry themselves a certain way that exudes that dominance. Those people seem more at ease, and appear to be who they naturally are and not trying too hard to be tough or dominant.

That kind of personality can have a negative side. I've been described as arrogant and "unwilling or unable to follow direction" by some professional peers/leaders, and I'm continually learning how to adjust those tendencies. I'm wondering if as business owner you have found yourself in similar situations where you've had to placate customers or contacts and had to place their desires above yours. The real world comes with its own power dynamic, and we find ourselves sometimes with power, and sometimes without, and play the role that the situation demands

Over the years I have also gravitated towards the 'pre broken', or the experienced slave that has gone though all his doubts, knows his place and is comfortable with it. It makes for a more fulfilling time for both people involved. You're right, similar to those that serve you and your friend, my slaves serve me in every way. One does my housework, which is his reward for the opportunity to serve as my riding slave.



Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

I  believe you're right concerning my attraction to  dominant  men, especially  men who  dominate other men  is because I view them as  equals.  I know that my initial  attraction to my  gay  friend was that  the first time I saw  him he was engaged in a mild form of  domination.  His attitude at the time interested me  and amused  me  before we were even introduced  and  he was already informed of my  nature having been  invited by another  guest. It was a  Halloween party at my home while I was still married.

I find myself most attracted to  men who dominate  with their personality  rather than just  the classic  "tough guy" type. That's  why I was interested in what you said concerning your riding activities  and  your  attitude  that  is so similar to my  friend.

But  despite my attraction to dominant  men, I always feel the need to  control in  all of my relationships  and  that of course results in  the conflicts I mentioned. 
Since I'm a small business owner, I usually have to limit  my  intimate activities to men  who are  submissive by  nature . Pre-broken  so to speak , because the business  takes up so much of my time, particularly   now.

I  understand  you're attraction to  women  riding men  because I admit I enjoy watching my  friend riding his  carriers and the  measure he  uses to  control   them.
Obviously his carriers are willing participants who  obey even when he's not sitting on them.  I  assume  that your  carriers  behave  very similar .

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#113 2020-05-22 06:24:54

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 378

Re: Spurs and Crops

krisbean:

I put a great deal of my personality aside when  dealing with customers and  fortunately I only have a few  regular customers and suppliers who are  particularly annoying or  obnoxious.  Since the customer is the only  reason for  any  business to exist, I have to do what is  necessary . 

When I have let my  personality reveal itself, it has been after the  client has  shown the signs of being  receptive.  Men are sometimes rather transparent in these matters and sometimes their reaction to a few  key  phrase I put into a conversation  will tell  me  more than they want to  reveal.  A phrase  inserted while looking  the  man in  the  eyes will often  tell me  a great  deal. If the  phrase is ignored or  the man seems put off by it, I retreat to  a  pure  business  dialogue . But if he flinches,  looks away or reacts as if I invaded his private thoughts, I will probe a little  deeper.
It might surprise you  how often  I have had a purchase or contract increased by finding the  client or representative's  Achilles heel.

Currently I have 4 men who basically serve me and one I'm working on when I have time to.   The four will do whatever I tell them  and three will invariably drop whatever they are doing to come when I call them.  I have no time  to  cater to the wishes or  fetishes of men who want to be  "slaves"  but attempt to  dominate from the submissive position. I'm always in charge and what they like or are in  a mood for is a matter of complete indifference to me. Obviously they have  a choice and can leave with the only  consequence being permanently dismissed.
Breaking and training a new  submissive is fun, but  time consuming  .  But  acquiring one isn't difficult  if you know where to look and how to spot them.

Since gay  men are  quite often  submissive.  my  friend has no problem finding them  and since he's basically independently wealthy, he  never has to concern  himself with  concealing his dominance.

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#114 2020-05-22 11:25:54

Hunter
Member
Male
Registered: 2019-01-19
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 179

Re: Spurs and Crops

Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

I put a great deal of my personality aside when  dealing with customers and  fortunately I only have a few  regular customers and suppliers who are  particularly annoying or  obnoxious.  Since the customer is the only  reason for  any  business to exist, I have to do what is  necessary . 

When I have let my  personality reveal itself, it has been after the  client has  shown the signs of being  receptive.  Men are sometimes rather transparent in these matters and sometimes their reaction to a few  key  phrase I put into a conversation  will tell  me  more than they want to  reveal.  A phrase  inserted while looking  the  man in  the  eyes will often  tell me  a great  deal. If the  phrase is ignored or  the man seems put off by it, I retreat to  a  pure  business  dialogue . But if he flinches,  looks away or reacts as if I invaded his private thoughts, I will probe a little  deeper.
It might surprise you  how often  I have had a purchase or contract increased by finding the  client or representative's  Achilles heel.

Currently I have 4 men who basically serve me and one I'm working on when I have time to.   The four will do whatever I tell them  and three will invariably drop whatever they are doing to come when I call them.  I have no time  to  cater to the wishes or  fetishes of men who want to be  "slaves"  but attempt to  dominate from the submissive position. I'm always in charge and what they like or are in  a mood for is a matter of complete indifference to me. Obviously they have  a choice and can leave with the only  consequence being permanently dismissed.
Breaking and training a new  submissive is fun, but  time consuming  .  But  acquiring one isn't difficult  if you know where to look and how to spot them.

Since gay  men are  quite often  submissive.  my  friend has no problem finding them  and since he's basically independently wealthy, he  never has to concern  himself with  concealing his dominance.

If I pay money, may I become your slave?

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#115 2020-05-23 04:28:08

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 378

Re: Spurs and Crops

Hunter:

I'm not a  prostitute or a professional  dominatrix.

On this  forum and occasionally a few others I communicate with  people I  find interesting and reply to posts I  find interesting.

You  Hunter have  insulted me,  called me a fake  like a  petulant child because I choose not to communicate with you.

I have no interest in you,  your money or your opinion of  me.

I hope  that is  clear enough.

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#116 2020-05-23 21:00:10

Alex
Member
Male, Germany
Registered: 2017-04-18
Last visit: 2020-05-28
Posts: 31

Re: Spurs and Crops

@krisbean:

This is really my personal preference but I desire to be submissive for women only. I can't really explain why but maybe this is something related to my personal female/male role model that I have in mind. In my book women should be on top, dominating males and make best use of their (physical) strength (by riding or sitting on them). On a more rational thought, I have wondered if I should also consider male riders and stop ignoring a good 50% of the population wink but it doesn't do it for me.

Now here's an interesting question: Would it make the ride more interesting for you knowing that your carrier prefers a rider of the opposite sex? Would it be more enjoyable to punish/discipline your carrier in a scenario like that?

I also believe it's not easy to meet women that are dominant. At least not right away. All of my riders where women I have become acquainted with and enjoyed their company for at least several weeks or months. If they are dominant, at some point in time they will start to 'probe' yourself like Audrey has described it. In some cases I had them request a shoulder ride in situations where they either are sure you won't turn it down or it is a less obvious and harmless thing to ask for (such as shoulder rides in concerts) for example.



krisbean wrote:

@alex,

It's very interesting to hear about your explanation for your submissiveness. I am curious to know if your desire to be submissive is expressed only for women, or for both genders. I've heard from other submissives that they have a strong desire to submit, regardless of the gender of the person they are submitting to, but I wonder if that's because it's not easy to meet with women that are dominant.

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#117 Yesterday 01:55:14

krisbean
Member
Male (32), USA
Registered: 2007-08-24
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 257

Re: Spurs and Crops

@audreyb,

Your perspective is interesting as always. I知 glad to hear that you don稚 have too many problematic clients.

I should take a page out of your book and attempt to tease out if the women I知 interested in are dominant or submissive. The problem in USA is that the subject of fetishes and kinks is still a taboo subject, and people don稚 talk about it openly. I have been with submissive women who expressed their wish to be hit, or dominated in some way, but not someone who expressed a dominant streak.

Do you have any suggestions for what I could ask or discuss to learn where they stand?

I can see how topping from the bottom can be annoying. It took a while for me to learn, but eventually I learnt how to filter those slaves out based on their communication style. Maybe some day I値l com to enjoy breaking in a new slave, but for now I知 enjoying doing little work and going straight to the fun part of riding and being served. I知 pretty impressed with the number of slaves you manage.


Audreyb wrote:

krisbean:

I put a great deal of my personality aside when  dealing with customers and  fortunately I only have a few  regular customers and suppliers who are  particularly annoying or  obnoxious.  Since the customer is the only  reason for  any  business to exist, I have to do what is  necessary . 

When I have let my  personality reveal itself, it has been after the  client has  shown the signs of being  receptive.  Men are sometimes rather transparent in these matters and sometimes their reaction to a few  key  phrase I put into a conversation  will tell  me  more than they want to  reveal.  A phrase  inserted while looking  the  man in  the  eyes will often  tell me  a great  deal. If the  phrase is ignored or  the man seems put off by it, I retreat to  a  pure  business  dialogue . But if he flinches,  looks away or reacts as if I invaded his private thoughts, I will probe a little  deeper.
It might surprise you  how often  I have had a purchase or contract increased by finding the  client or representative's  Achilles heel.

Currently I have 4 men who basically serve me and one I'm working on when I have time to.   The four will do whatever I tell them  and three will invariably drop whatever they are doing to come when I call them.  I have no time  to  cater to the wishes or  fetishes of men who want to be  "slaves"  but attempt to  dominate from the submissive position. I'm always in charge and what they like or are in  a mood for is a matter of complete indifference to me. Obviously they have  a choice and can leave with the only  consequence being permanently dismissed.
Breaking and training a new  submissive is fun, but  time consuming  .  But  acquiring one isn't difficult  if you know where to look and how to spot them.

Since gay  men are  quite often  submissive.  my  friend has no problem finding them  and since he's basically independently wealthy, he  never has to concern  himself with  concealing his dominance.

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#118 Yesterday 05:31:44

Audreyb
Member
Registered: 2014-09-29
Last visit: 2020-05-27
Posts: 378

Re: Spurs and Crops

krisbean:

Actually at various times in my life I have juggled up to  7 men at the same time. Most were of course  just men I dated regularly and though a few wanted  something exclusive with me, I never  lied  or pretended any such arrangement  , not even with my (now Ex) husband.

The  four I have  now are all  submissive and  accept their roles in my life  and are aware that I still date other men.  I hesitate to  call them  my "slaves" though they like  being treated as such  and one  insists that he is my slave. Obviously  they get something that they want in serving me.  I honestly  don't care what  that is as long as I am served. I don't  indulge  in  any extreme  fetishes such as  whipping ,spanking or any thing involving diapers, body waste etc.   However some acts that  were once taboo are  now mainstream topic of conversation.

The only advice I could give  you in sorting out women for  dominant tendencies is to listen  to what they are saying carefully and watch their reactions to certain topics.
It's not always   clear  and  be careful of broaching the subject first.
Often  the woman will bait  you  with a  few  catch phrases  and checking your reactions.
For example, during a lunch meeting with a client, in the  casual  conversation   I  brought  up the subject of an employee who actually is basically worthless.
The reason he is still employed  with me is a long story.
I deliberately  used a   mild double entendre " I have to  sit on him to get anything  out of him" and  later I used the  term  "ride him all day" . Both  terms are acceptable expressions  in polite society ,obviously meaning watching him  and closely supervising.
But I saw  the clients  reaction , which was not  business related  and I  knew I had  him right where I wanted him and I got an  exclusive supply contract.
I have used the same tactic in  bars  and  other social occasions and  it  allows me to sort out  men.
Also,.  dominant women are usually confident  and if  they find you interesting they will make the first move.  One thing that  often annoys me is that even intelligent  men  often  fail to  notice when  a woman is flirting with them.  Often  the woman thinks the man isn't  interested when he doesn't respond to the  flirtation.

The last man I  took the time to actually break and train was my ex husband. He was a challenge for many reasons  and interesting  because he could be dangerous. It took well over a year  to break him  once I had infatuated and  addicted to me. The marriage lasted  just under two years and involved retraining him  several times before I simply got bored with him.

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